I hate January.
Well I guess that's a bit strong. I have a love/hate relationship with January. First off, it tends to be a bit cold, and I don't like cold. But its the south and that's rather hit and miss.
For some reason that I don't know, January seems to be the month in which life changing events happen in my life. In order of how this has unfolded:
Grandfather passed
Dad had a heart attack
Grandmother died
Dad had aortic aneurysm surgery (two weeks after grandmother passed)
Moved into new house
Dad passed (6 days after closing on house)
Daughter born
Man who was like a grandfather to me (and best friend's actual grandfather) passed
Now all of this has happened over the course of around 20 years, so its a little spread out. But no other month has this number of things going on. I end up being a little closed up, a little distant, waiting for something to happen.
This January has been a bit tough. I guess it relates to being five years since daddy passed. Five years just seems like a marker in the road. There are times it still seems grossly unfair that my dad and my daughter didn't have opportunity to know one another.
Someone, and I cant remember who to credit, said that the timing of my daughter's birth coming so closely in the month as the anniversary of daddy's death was a blessing. That at a time when I would otherwise be dwelling on him and his death, I would instead be buying birthday presents and planning parties. And that has been helpful.
And its also funny how life goes in cycles at times. I was born around Father's Day. My dad's mother passed around Father's Day, seventeen years before I was born.
I'm rambling now.
I know its not January's fault. January is an innocent bystander and I should feel no ill will toward it.
But I'm really glad February starts tomorrow.
